(Van Hagar) Q: Mr. Corbett, recently you sold a spec script with Rob Greenberg to Paramount Pictures called Starship Dave. If it were to make it through the process, of the current slate of Hollywood directors, who would you like to direct it? Would you yourself like to sit in the chair if possible?

A: We’re pretty far away from making it through the Hollywood mill yet, so I don’t really have a strong opinion on directors for the movie. Maybe Peter Jackson, but…dream on.
      No, I would never direct it myself, since I’ve never directed a movie. I feel certain that I’d accidentally blow up the set by day three of the shoot.

(Forrest) Q: Can you give us any details about Starship Dave? Or is it supreme, ultra, super duper top secret?

A: Not supremely secret at all. Just supremely silly. It’s a sci-fi comedy about a bunch of quarter-inch aliens who come to earth in a spaceship that’s shaped like a human, for an undercover exploration of Earth. Hijinx, as they say, ensue. As you might have guessed, it’s an adaptation of Tolstoy’s ANNA KARENINA.

(XerxesTheCat) Q: Did you ever have any interaction with Trace? Did you ever get to converse with him?

A: Yes, I wrote on a few episodes of Season Six, on Frank’s last few shows, when Trace was still around. No huge conversations that I recall. But he was a great guy -- very welcoming to the Brains staff. I was a big fan of his, so I must admit I was a little starstruck. I’m sure I mostly babbled to him about what I had for lunch.
     And this was long before anyone knew that I’d be picking up Crow eventually, so we’ve never talked shop about the ‘bot.

(XerxesTheCat) Q: What's your opinion of all the classic cartoons being removed from the airwaves, and replaced with the modern cartoon garbage?

A: I must admit I’m not aware of the alarming phenomenon you describe. But I’d like to think that this is a big world, with room for THE SIMPSONS as well as classic Bugs Bunny (which are still just about my favorite cartoons). Let the AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE lie down with the Max Fleisher cartoons, say I. Kumbaya.

(MonsterX) Q: In regards to MST3K, can you think of anything you brought to the writers room off hand that was directly influenced by your work in the theater?

A: I brought enormous pretension.
     Seriously, I don’t know. I think we were all generalists in terms of humor. Each of us might have known relatively more about this or that subject, but it mostly was a tag team effort, where one riff would lead to another, and we’d find the joke together. Not quite so compartmentalized.

(MonsterX) Q: When you first began work on MST3K, were you surprised by the “quality” of the movies? Horrified?

A: I’d seen the show before I worked there, so it wasn’t a total surprise. What was a bit of a surprise is what kind of bad movies best lent themselves to the MST3K treatment, in order to make a funny show. There were awful movies that made for good shows, and awful movies that would have made (or did make?) for awful shows. You had to find the right combination of factors.
     For example, trying to find movies that had room in the dialogue to pepper with our silly stuff was a challenge…You wanted room for jokes, but not huge stretches where there wasn’t enough to react to.

(MonsterX) Q: Can you tell us anything about the Film Crew’s upcoming projects?

A: We’ll be recording a DVD this summer for Rhino Home Entertainment, commenting on some cheesy movies. Don’t know anything about when they will release it. It will be kinda like the stuff that Mike has done on REEFER MADNESS, etc. Maybe a few more bells and whistles. But no puppets, or ape suits. Or transvestite albino aliens (unless David Bowie shows up).
     Also, we just did a brace of short, very silly promotional segments for the STARZ and ENCORE cable channels. I think they start running soon.

(MonsterX) Q: Was writing for the show normally pretty easy going, or can you thing of any movie(s) that were particularly difficult to write for?

A: Yeah, pretty easygoing until it got down to the last writing day, at which point we could sometimes be a bit fried. But mostly it was great fun, and we laughed like idjits every single day.
     I remember SCREAMING SKULL being tough to write for, because of what I said above – too much time without dialogue, and not enough happening visually. Also, NEPTUNE MEN was a challenge, but I think we pretty much made that clear in the movie itself, what with our bellyaching.

(Defense Mechanism) Q: How did he come up with the idea of playing Crow as being so short tempered and "cranky"?

A: I disagree that he was cranky. He was simply passionate. He loved so much that sometimes it seemed like hate. Ah, but it was pure love.

(Defense Mechanism) Q: Where did the idea for having Brain Guy be one of the new Mads come from?

A: Kind of a group decision, as I recall. We were having a lot of fun with those guys. Also, it was getting too difficult to keep inventing new characters and situations, and their attendant habitats (that is, sets), without killing our relatively small staff.

(Afgncaap5) Q: Which was easier to get the hang of: Crow or Observer?

A: Observer. No puppet. (Except the meat puppet which is me.)

(DoggieGoWalkies) Q: Looking back, what is your opinion of your Brain-Guy Host Segments?

A: Great, except for the guy playing Brain Guy. What a thoroughly creepy man!

     Hmm. Honestly? I think those host segments were good, and sometimes great… but that the Dr. F. – Frank “Mads” segments worked better, and that they had more of a natural chemistry. Trace and Frank were a classic comedy team, in my opinion.
     But in our slight defense, I think at first we were quite hamstrung by the Sci-Fi Channel’s directive to have us traveling around space, visiting new planets, etc. It made things too hard for our modest staff, and eventually unsustainable. Once we got into the Castle Forrester stuff, the Mads segments started finding much more of a groove. And then, um…we were kinda…cancelled. >sniff!<

(DoctorZ) Q: What current or past reading material mostly influenced or inspired you in the MST3K writing sessions?

A: Never thought about that. I’m not sure that any reading material was anything but a very general influence, in helping me love good, smart comedy. So maybe: National Lampoon, Spy, the novels Catch-22, A Confederacy of Dunces. Maybe the novels of Kingsley Amis and his more risque son, Martin.

(Van Hagar) Q: What was it like almost having full control of the show at the end of the sixth season while the main Brains were in LA pitching the movie?

A: I think you dreamed that, my friend. Didn’t work like that in real life.

(Van Hagar) Q: Were you disappointed not being brought back or asked to contribute for the seventh season?

A: For the rest of my born days, I swear I will NEVER forgive them for that…
     Seriously – nahhh. They told me that Season Seven was going to be lean and stripped-down, and that the show was in a lot of transition. And nobody had promised me anything. I’d had great fun working there, and was honored to be a temporary Brain…so no big heartache.
     But that did make it all the sweeter when the show was resurrected, especially since that enabled me to stop donating plasma for a living.

(Van Hagar) Q: Any idea why other contributing writers from the end of the sixth season were not brought back for the eight?

A: They didn’t have compromising Polaroids of Kevin Murphy, like I did.
     No idea, really. I’m guessing it was mostly a budget issue. (And being that I was paid exactly one Slim Jim a day, I was probably the best bargain.)

(Laserblast) Q: How did you get the gig of writing for the show?

A: Because the story has not changed, I’m going to copy and paste the answer I gave to that very same question in my last interview on this site:

“A: I just started showing up at Best Brains one day, and everyone was too darn polite to ask what the hell I was doing there.
     Actually, I knew some of the guys on the show a bit from the comedy and theater scene around the Twin Cities. Mostly Mary Jo, Mike, and Bridget. I knew them before I really knew about the show – I was just vaguely aware that these guys had some cool job somewhere, where people pointed cameras at them and stuff. I was definitely slow finding out about MST3K, since I was the last person on the planet to get cable TV.
     But when I saw the show I loved it right away. So smart, such sublime weirdness. A whole different sensibility, great playfulness, and many individual references I’d never seen or heard anywhere near the tube before.
     I don’t remember exactly how I let Mike know that I was interested in writing with them, but I did, and that’s how I first got involved. I think I sent him some stuff. (Writing samples, that is, not chocolates and nylons.) He may have seen some of my plays around town, too – I had a few comedies produced in Minneapolis around that time. Then at some point they asked me to sit in for a few shows, to see if I could blurt with the masters. That’s how they kind of auditioned writers when they had a need for them, which was pretty rare. In fact, if I’m remembering this right, I think they needed a little extra help when I first sat in with them mostly because they were working on the MST3K movie around the same time. Technically, I guess I was hired twice for the show – one short period at the end of Season Six, during Frank’s last shows, and then again at the beginning of Season Eight, at the start of the Sci–Fi years.
     Who found out about my talent? I don’t think anyone ever found it. If they do, I hope they’ll let me know.”

(NoSprings) Q: What kind of a world is the Yale School of Drama?

A: It was three years in a theater boot camp, and it was amazing to have that privilege. Even the work I did to make money was related – hanging lights, building sets. Some aspects of the actual school-type curriculum didn’t thrill me, but mostly I had a great time working with my very talented cohorts there.

(yousonuva) Q: It's been said that your version of Crow was the most cynical of the bunch (and why he's my favorite). Has growing up in Brooklyn contributed to this style of humor? Were you the class clown in school?

A: I happen to think Crow is a starry-eyed idealist. It’s just that the base world always disappoints him, with its baseness.
     Brooklyn might be the Wiseass Capital of the World, so that cultural imprint might be what people heard when I was doing Crow. Myself, I didn’t hear the cynicism, just the love. And a pure love it was.
     And yeah, I was one of a few class clowns in school. Just like major league pitchers, we rotated our line-up day to day, to make sure no one got too tired.

(Blurryeye) Q: You once pointed out that the star of Squirm (can't recall his name) had rejected one of your plays. Are there any other ironies like this, where one of the people involved with a movie you riffed had judged your work or affected your life (or another Brain's) in some way?

A: Not that I can think of. Isn’t it ironic that I can’t think of any other ironies? Don’t you think?
     Could also be that our lives have been affected without us knowing it. Maybe Joe Don Baker has voodoo dolls of us, who knows. That would explain why I get a splitting headache whenever I inquire of someone, “Think you can take me?”

(MightyJack) Q: In a recent interview, Kevin talked about the Film Crew doing commentary on movies released by Rhino. Is that project still a go and if so, can you give us any details (Movies you'd like to do, time frame on releases)?

A: Yes, the project is still a go. It’s been slow in developing, though – mostly because of clearing movie rights. Things are complicated like that these days – lawyers just pop out of the woodwork every time you turn around, in this here entertainment industry.

(Forrest) Q: I recently bought the Three Stooges in color DVD and I really enjoyed the "host segments" in between the episodes. Do the Film Crew plan on doing anymore "host segment" type skits on future DVDs?

A: Yes. We’ll be doing similar stuff for the Rhino project.

(RamMan) Q: Everyone compares you to Trace so I guess I will to, If you and Trace both had a crow puppet and forced to make the two crow duel in hand to hand combat... who would win?

A: Trace, easy. He’s got the reach.

(Ratso) Q: When you went to replace Trace, would you have felt more comfortable if they gave you a new character to play instead of Crow?

A: Hm. Never thought of that. But since you asked: I probably would have felt more comfortable at the time. Less baggage. But in retrospect, that wasn’t the right thing for the show. If it’s really MST3K, you need the Golden Spider Duck.

(Tomserveaux) Q: Out of the three seasons of MST3K you performed on, what season is your personal favorite and why?

A: Probably the final season. I felt most comfortable with Crow by then, and liked the move to one set for the Mads segments. That’s just a personal take, no reflection on the quality of the movies we did. There were a bunch of good movies (and corresponding shows) in Season Nine, as I recall.

(MonsterX) Q: In creepy James Lipton voice – “If you were a smell, what smell would you be?”

A: Wintergreen. No, strike that! Apricot. No! (panicking:) Pass! Next!

(yousonuva) Q: So, Bill....or Mr. Bill, what kinda music do you like? Do you have a favorite band? Ever put on any heavy metal?

A: I like all kinds of music. Seriously. Except polka. ^@!$#&!*# polka, man.

     Do I have a favorite band? Not really. I really like the Clash, but I’m sure that dates me to you young whippersnappers. These days, I’m listening to a bunch of stuff: Richard Thompson, the Strokes, Green Day, Lucinda Williams. Starting to like a lot of country music, Lord help me.
     Sometimes I actually do crank up heavy metal in my car. We have a metal-only radio station in town. But only in my car, as my wife would throw a chair at me if I did it in our house. And she has a point – a guy in his 40s rocking out to headbanger music is not a pretty sight.

(DefenseMechanism) Q: Are you surprised that most fans took to your version of Crow as well as they did, and that some even prefer you to the original?

A: Honestly, I don’t have a bead on how people reacted or not, except that I didn’t get death threats. But the people I’ve met have been awfully nice, and I’ve been grateful for that. Niceness is good. And goodness is nice.

(mummifiedstalin) Q: If your Crow met Trace's crow in a back alley, what would happen?

A: They would combine molecularly into one giant uber-Crow, then go seek out Quentin Tarantino, to administer an epic wedgie to him.

(Derek3k) Q: In host segment during the episode of Boggy Creek 2 where you sing the song about the creature, were you really playing that guitar?

A: Yes. I used to play pretty often, as a younger fellow, and jam with some other half-talented friends.
     But I think that song used maybe three chords, tops. More like two and a half.

(Ford Perfect) Q: How did your appearance on "Cheap Seats" alongside Mike and Kevin in your MST personas come about?

A: We met Randy and Jason Sklar in San Francisco last year, when they hosted the MST3K Forum at the SF Sketch Comedy Festival. We had a lot of fun with those wacky twins there. Then they got in touch with us later and asked us to do that little cameo on their ESPN show.

(yousonuva) Q: We have a debate going on about just where the idea of Observer originated. Some say the character is based on the advanced humans from Beneath The Planet Of The Apes (which I believe is correct), although others have suggested 2001: A Space Odyssey and the Marvel comic The Watchers. Which is correct and whose idea was it to use it?

A: As I recall, it was a mix of all such things like that. But for us, it probably had its origin in Star Trek as much as anything else – I mean the original, Shatner-in-a-girdle version of Star Trek. Combined a few different episodes. But yeah, the Observers are certainly a common sci-fi type of character.
     For my part, it was as much as anything about the kind of actors who wound up playing cheesy sci-fi roles like that: those British stage actors who probably did Hamlet in their youth and wanted to go on to Lear… but to make a few quid the poor blokes had to dress up silly, wear latex “alien” noses, and put all of their stage training to the service of very dopey B-movie dialogue. We had a ton of actors like that in the movies we skewered, and I had a weird fondness in my heart for them. Brain Guy wound up being a tribute to them, as much as anything else. Or mockery of them, maybe – take your pick.

(Forrest) Q: What do you think of the great directors and their films: Kubrick, Kurosawa, Hitchcock, Chaplain, Bergman and Ed Wood?

A: Hacks, every one of ‘em. Except for Wood.
     No, they’re all geniuses, of course. Even if – like all artists and entertainers – they had their less brilliant moments.
     Except for Wood. Each film is a shining cultural jewel. To see an Ed Wood film is to know God. (…With apologies to Will Ferrell’s take on the aforementioned James Lipton.)

(Forrest) Q: What ratio do you think bad movies outnumber good, or halfway original and decent movies?

A: Gosh, I don’t know. I do know that the likelihood of any movie being truly good, across the board, is slim. Including the one that I just wrote, of course.
     But I do try to stay positive and find things to like about movies that otherwise aren’t very good. And if I can’t, I just turn them off, or leave the theater -- though these days we mostly Netflix it. No point in becoming a bitter crank. (Except when I’m working, that is.)

(Forrest) Q: You’re one of the people in this world that has done something to make people happy and laugh. Although it’s only a plastic puppet making fun of B movies, you were part of something that average Joes like us could enjoy and put the harsher parts of life in the back of our head, and laugh for 90 minutes straight. Thanks for this second interview Mr. Corbett, we really appreciate it. But one last question: What advice would you give to anyone trying to make it in television, theater, radio or movies? Since you have now made it into all four categories.

A: Thank you. You’re too kind. I don’t know that I’ve officially made it in all of those categories, because I’m not sure what making it really entails.

     And I’ll keep the advice short, lest I sound pompous. But here it is: if you really want to work in TV, theater, radio, or the movies, keep at it.  Always keep checking to make sure that you’re happy, that you’re not ruining your family life, and that the work is fulfilling. It’s a tough road because so many people are trying to do it, but if that’s what you know you want… well, don’t be deterred easily. But again, always take stock, and make sure it’s what you really want.
     In terms of the work itself, don’t be afraid of being completely original. The pressure is always there to be derivative, especially when people are paying you. But resist that. If you’re not feeling creative and having fun, it’s probably a good clue that something isn’t right.
     I’d say keep a sense of perspective, a sense of humor, and a sense of humanity, and you’ll find it a lot easier path. That goes for life in general, too.
     Oh, and eat your vegetables.

That advice wasn’t so short. Sheesh, what a know-it-all.

Thanks, and goodbye.

      

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