911 - DEVIL FISH

Genre:  Low-budget Monster-Horror / Italian Jaws Rip-Off (1984, Color)

Don’s Synopsis:  This horror movie begins as some sort of octopus-like creature with very sharp teeth attacks a boat and kills the old couple on board.  After that opening attack and two sets of credits, we then we meet our hero, Peter, and heroine, Stella, in a jarring crosscut editing sequence that somewhat manages to rapidly cut together unrelated shots of the Devil Fish, Peter, Stella, and some dolphins – yet still remain completely excitement-free.  Eventually, our heroes – who are either some type of ocean researchers or American beer taste-testers – figure out that the Devil Fish is some sort of prehistoric monster and, loaded up with plenty of American beer, they begin to try to track it down with underwater sonar.  The story then takes a strange twist when some bad guys try unsuccessfully to sabotage the hunt for the Devil Fish because it was actually a genetically engineered monster in which each one of its cells can divide into even more Devil Fishes.  Eventually, after some more people become fish food, our heroes are able to burn the Devil Fish with a couple of gallons of gasoline and a lighter.

Don’s Review:  Finally, the show takes on one of those low-budget Jaws rip-offs that were so prevalent in the late ’70s and early ’80s!  And, in this low-budget Italian-made mess, BBI dug up what may be the worst of the bunch.  Originally released in Italy under the title Shark rosso nell’oceano, which means Red Shark in the Ocean in English (and which also makes no sense whatsoever in English), somehow the title mutated into the super-cheesy name Devil Fish for its U.S. release.  It is a horrible monster/horror movie full of surprisingly graphic shots of dismembered corpses and some of the most jarring editing I’ve ever seen.  And the lame attempt by this movie to emulate Jaws is apparent whenever the Devil Fish appears and we hears that, like the shark in Jaws, it also has its very own theme music.  But while the Jaws Theme is a relentlessly driving masterpiece, this theme is cheesy bad music that only relentlessly drives a listener up a wall. (Now if I could only get it out of my skull!!!)  The fact that this was made in Italy is immediately apparent due to the Spaghetti Western-like post-dubbed soundtrack (does that make this a Spaghetti Horror Movie?) and the obviously Italian-looking lead actors.  As cheesy as this movie was, the riffing was a bit disappointing – it really should have been better, but maybe the movie with it’s jarring editing was a bit too difficult to riff well (a lot of scenes have shots too short to even get a riff in edgewise).  Most of the host segments, on the other hand, were very amusing – in fact, these are some of the best segments of this entire season!  But, overall, this is only an okay episode.

Don’s Rating: 

Forrest’s Synopsis:  The editing in this movie...the editing in this movie....wow... There is no film in existence, with a worse editing job, EVER.  Seriously, it makes you dizzy.  You can’t even comprehend what the editor was thinking.  The cuts made in this film are so bad that this film may very well be the worst film ever shown on MST3K.  At least you could follow the continuity in Manos, bad as it was.  Here, scenes are intertwined into other scenes for the simple fact that the editor could do it if he wanted to.  The film is of course a Jaws knock off that manages to be even worse than Jaws: The Revenge, if that is even possible.  It’s about a guy, who drinks lots of beer, an electrician and two skinny chicks. Anyway, they go out to look for the “Devil Fish”, some people get killed, and there’s some sort of plot, somewhere, about the devil fish actually being a genetic experiment created by some evil guys, who have evil plans, or something.  The movie does bring up a good point: Can the U.S. Coast Guard visit my birthday party?  There will be balloons, clowns and ice cream!

Forrest’s Review:  This movie somehow ends up beating Werewolf for worst film of the season.  At least Werewolf was watchable, regardless on how ridiculous it was.  This movie however is just a chore to watch, what with the editing that links nothing to nothing, directing that is akin to trying to film something while an earthquake is happening, acting that tries to convince us that Italians are actually Americans (they have beer!), music throughout the movie that sounds like a soft porn soundtrack and special effects that are so bad that Ed Wood looks like Stan Winston by comparison.  The riffing though, was hilarious for the most part, with one or two areas that fell a bit flat.  But there were plenty of good laughs, and tons of very witty jokes.  The end credits was a riot (the movie ends with a guy and a girl laughing, and the end credits scroll over the picture, and Tom and Crow laugh as them the whole way through), although they should have made a riff on the guy responsible for continuity, he probably deserves a riff more than anyone else ever responsible for any movie seen on MST3K.  The edits made in this film are not only unprofessional, it almost seems as though the editor was TRYING to make the worst edits possible.  There is not one good thing about this movie.  It’s not even fun to hate.  But, as I said, the riffing was hilarious for the most part, and it actually made the film watchable, horrible as it was.  The host segments were also very good, and all movie related.  Even the odd, out of place cruise ship skits with Bobo, Pearl and Observer were funny, stupid as they were.  This is a very good episode, which does improve on a repeated viewing.

Forrest’s Rating: