901 - THE PROJECTED MAN

Genre:  British Sci-Fi / Horror (1967, Color)

Don’s Synopsis:  In this British film, a researcher named Prof. Steiner and his research team of Chris Mitchell and the female Dr. Pat Hill are working to invent a “Projecting Machine” (basically a teleporter, a la Star Trek and The Fly).  Trying to stop them, for some unknown reason, is the director of their research facility, Dr. Blanchard, who has a bushy eye-browed accomplice who he uses to sabotage things.  When the human funding machine, Lembach, is in town, Steiner is forced to give what Blanchard thinks is a surprise demonstration.  But what Blanchard doesn’t know is that Steiner knows about the surprise demo and he knows Blanchard doesn’t know that his machine actually works!  (AAH-HAA!!!)   Unfortunately, during the demo, the machine suffers a total meltdown and the demo is a disaster.  While inspecting the damage, the researchers discover that a part was sabotaged (I wonder which bushy eye-browed guy did that?), but, luckily, the projecting machine can be fixed easily.  Steiner goes to Blanchard’s house to implore Lembach to stay in town longer for another demo.  Instead, Blanchard tells Steiner that the funding for his project has been cut.  So Steiner tells them all to stay there at Blanchard’s house and he will prove to them, once and for all, that his machine actually works.  Steiner rushes to his lab and gets the hot-looking air-head secretary Sheila to help him with a new experiment: he’s going to teleport himself directly into Blanchard’s home!  Things don’t go according to plan, though, when Mitchell and Hill arrive during the experiment and accidentally cause Sheila to try to shut down the experiment at the wrong time, which causes Steiner to be teleported out of the building and he is now... the Projected Man!   Steiner’s face is half melted away and he also has the touch of death because anyone he touches, he kills with about 500,000 volts of electricity.  After killing some cockney – and innuendo – spouting crooks who were trying to break into a building by digging through a wall (wouldn’t it have been easier to just go through the door?), the Projected Man next takes out Blanchard’s bushy eye-browed saboteur henchman and then takes out Blanchard himself.  He apparently then intended to kill his assistants, Mitchell and Hill (who are in the act of personally assisting each other) – but when they actually try to help the Projected Man by getting him back to the lab, he instead just wanders off without harming the couple.  The police try to stop him but bullets can’t stop the Projected Man and he eventually returns to his lab, where he destroys the projecting machine and projects himself to who-knows-(or-cares)-where.

Don’s Review:  This movie is less of an out-and-out bad movie and more of just a slow-moving, dull movie.  The riffing on it by M&tBs is fairly good, although not on the level of previous seasons.  The Mad host segments are pretty humorous as they deal with Pearl & the Guys moving into her ancestral home of Castle Forrester.  And the SOL segments are all mostly movie related as the ’Bots (apparently) build a projecting machine to project all of Mike’s favorite possessions and Crow accidentally kills Mike with his own touch of death (but another touch shocks him back).  Overall, this is a decent episode that I definitely enjoyed watching.
Trivia Note:  This episode was originally broadcast with bad sound, which was fixed for all subsequent broadcasts

Don’s Rating: 

Forrest’s Synopsis:  I really, really, really, really don't know. This was a BAD, BAD, BAD movie.

Forrest’s Review:  Sorry for the crappy synopsis, but this movie was so dull, so uninteresting, so boring that I seriously cannot recall one line, character, scene or anything else from this movie.  As Mike at some point in this episode points out: "Even when something happens in this movie, nothing happens."  The riffing is okay, I do remember some good lines here and there, but the incredibly dull movie just bored me to tears.  I don't think it's fair to call it the worst movie on MST3K, it certainly isn't in terms of craftsmanship, acting and special effects (although none of these things in this film are to rave about), but it's soooooo dull.  It's the most unmemorable film I've ever seen.  And although MST is about bad movies, I think this movie, although bad, has too serious a tone for such idiotic crap, and every scene is so dull and dreary that I actually was craving for an MTV, Moulin Rouge or Michael Bay style jump cut to grab my wandering attention span (and that means that I was desperate).  The host segments about moving into Castle Forrester are funny, and the riffing is okay, but an unmemorable movie will drag down it's rating a bit.

Forrest’s Rating: