811 - parts: the clonus horror

Genre:  Cheesy ’70s era Sci-Fi (1979, Color)

Synopsis:  This film opens in some sort of idealistic colony called Clonus that’s full of young people.  They all seem rather naïve and constantly talk about getting ready to “go to America.”  Of course, when one of them graduates to “America” we see him get taken back into a lab where some sort of surgery is performed on him that involves wrapping him in some plastic saran wrap.  One colony guy, Richard, begins to question the actions of the authorities at the colony (one of whom is Dick Sargent, i.e. the unfunny 2nd Darren from Bewitched).  So Richard breaks into an administrative office, throws some files on the floor and studies a map (of course, without any previous exposure to maps, how could he make heads or tails out of it?).  Richard also finds a videotape that conveniently explains everything at Clonus so he escapes to “America” on his own, leaving his new airhead girlfriend Lena behind.  While escaping, he is shot and ends up at the home of an old couple.  The old couple takes him to the home of another old guy named Prof. Knight who, it turns out, Richard is a younger version of – in other words, Richard is the Professor’s clone.  Prof. Knight, in turn, is the brother of the Senator Jeffrey Knight (Peter Graves), who is running for president so the Professor goes to see his brother.  The Senator tells his brother that Richard is part of a cloning project run by powerful individuals in the country that clones the wealthy and powerful people so that they can have replacement body parts and live a much longer life.  Prof. Knight at first seems okay with this idea of living forever but then his son convinces him that they should help his clone.  So they help the clone get away from the people chasing him so he can head back to the Clonus Colony (which is probably the stupidest thing he could do since it’s exactly what the people after him wanted).  Senator Knight then, for some reason, kills both his Professor brother and his nephew for helping the clone escape.  And, when the Richard-clone gets back to the colony, he finds that his airhead girlfriend has been lobotomized (and, not surprisingly, she’s no different than before).  He is captured and immediately taken in for “surgery” (break out the saran wrap).  So the bad guys seem to win but the movie ends with a scene in which a reporter, who apparently got the Clonus videotape, asks Senator Knight about the Clonus project which blows the lid off the whole thing (ahhh... movies in the years after Watergate, in which the heroic free press can always save the day... what a naive people we once were).

Host Segments:

Stinger:  Weird guy says “SURE!”

Don’s Review:  This movie had a lot of potential in its very interesting premise but the execution of bringing it to the screen is where it falls apart.  The directing is lame and the acting is awful all around.   With a better cast and crew, this could’ve been a great and memorable sci-fi film – but, instead, it is only immortalized by becoming MST3K fodder.  The riffing by M&tBs on this film is great – it’s some of the best on-target riffing of the entire Sci-Fi era of the show.  The host segments were also enjoyable, which were almost all about the Mads as they dealt with a trio of space children who torment them in yet another old Star Trek reference. (How many Host Segments inspired by Star Trek does that make?)  So the formula holds true:  Enjoyably Cheesy Movie + Great Riffing + Good Host Segments = great episode.

Don’s Rating: 

Forrest’s Review:  I saw this episode a while back, and I rewatched it along with the other clone-themed MST3K movie The Human Duplicators, and I will say it did hold up very well.  The riffing starts out with a bang, starting with a stream of hilarious Biography riffs on Peter Graves.  Then we switch to Clonus, where we meet our gay, er, I meant totally straight Rocky Horror Picture Show look-alike monster.  Who is 100% straight I tell you... even though he does get turned on when counting back from 100... anyway, the riffs on this, um, guy, were hysterical.  And the operation room scene, complete with a hilarious stream of “Super Mario” jokes was side-splitting.  The first theater segment ends with a bang when Tom Servo quips: “Guess I have a beer can collection now.”
      But then, the riffing, just doesn’t hold up as well for the rest of the feature.  Sure, it does have some great parts (excuse the corny pun), but I blame the movie.  It got less cheesy, and just more boring.  Still, there was a lot more great riffing to be heard (“You should perhaps duck before going under a helicopter”), but it just wasn’t as fun anymore.  However, the Biography riffs on the end credits were very funny.
      The host segments are excellent.  So excellent that they rival many of Joel’s best.  Mike, in particular was hilarious as one of the Space Children.  All the Space Children segments were great, as well as Mike’s use of reverse-psychology, and Tom and Crow’s new kids show, where Crow is a cow!... Plus, the Spanish version of the kid’s show (all made possible by Mike) was laugh-out-loud hilarity.  But best of all was Mike’s dead-on impersonation of Belloq (from Raiders of the Lost Ark).
      All in all, this is a great episode, but I really can’t give it the full five-out-of-five, because I do remember that the movie, at times, overwhelmed me with boredom.  Still, this is one great episode!  And remember “Only you can prevent groin fires.” Oh, and “BIOGRAPHY!”

Forrest’s Rating: 

Related Link:
    (1) The Agony Booth (Humorous Movie Review)