 802 - THE LEECH WOMAN
Genre: Dated Horror... or Old Youth Gone Bad
(1960, B&W)
Synopsis: This feature was not what I was expecting at all –
instead of being a cheesy monster movie, it’s more of a story on the corrupting influences of finding the fountain of youth.
With better production values, this story could have made a good movie
– but unfortunately, it’s given the low-budget hokey treatment (ex. mixing stock footage with backlot footage, bad acting all-around, etc.).
In this story, an old decrepit-looking woman named Malla visits a doctor
named Dr. Paul Talbot and, for some reason, begins to brag about her native African village having the cure for old age.
She shows Dr. Talbot a powder that has kept her alive for over 150 years and claims that, when mixed with a secret ingredient, it brings back youth to a woman.
Dr. Talbot is intrigued and decides to follow the old woman back to her African tribe,
so he takes his drunken wife June – who he was planning to divorce
but now plans to remake into a young-looking hot babe – and, once
in Africa, they hire a guide named David Garvey to help them find
the village. So they do find the village and there they see the youth-given ritual:
the secret ingredient to make the formula work is fluid from the pineal gland of a man,
which means a human sacrifice is made using a special spiked ring and the old woman (through the power of switching actresses) is made
to look young again.
Once Dr. Talbot sees the formula work, he wants his wife to also take of the youth formula, as a guinea pig he can take back as own proof that the Fountain of Youth exists.
But she is so upset that he used her that she chooses him as her sacrificial pineal gland victim
(that’ll show him!).
June becomes young again and she and the guide David escape the village with the secret powder before they can be executed.
While in the jungle, though, the youth formula wears off and makes June look like
a very old lady (...or a leather bag, your choice). David abandons her but when he becomes trapped in quicksand, June uses him for more pineal gland fluid so she can once again be young.
Back in the U.S., young June is met at the airport by her lawyer
Neil and his funny-hairdo-wearing
fiancée Sally. Young June claims to be her own niece and, when
Neil drops her off, she begins to hit on the guy big-time. But she quickly kicks
Neil out when the formula starts to wear off again, so now she needs to go out and find a new pineal gland donor, which she does in a thief/murderer who tries to rob and kill her (not necessarily in that order).
She sets up a date with Neil but before Neil gets there, Sally shows up with a gun and tells Young June to leave town. They struggle and Young June pineal spikes Sally with the special ring and saves the fluid for later. Then
Neil and the police arrive and discover Sally’s body. June, who ages right before them, says
she’ll show them how she can be young again and takes the formula with
Sally’s pineal gland fluid.
Unfortunately, the formula requires male pineal gland fluid and so, instead,
Sally’s makes June super-duper old
looking and she kills herself by jumping from a window.
Don’s Review: Cheesily-made and dated movie was great riffing material for M&tBs.
The riffs throughout were excellent, as good as in some of the best Comedy Central episodes.
Although the earth-side host segments were mostly too silly and the SOL segments are only
so-so (the highlight being a funny visit from the Nanites), the top-notch riffing during the feature makes this,
IMO, one of the best shows of the entire Sci-Fi Era.
Don’s
Rating: 
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