705 - ESCAPE 2000

One-Line Summary:  Things Blowing Up Real Good!

Synopsis:  Although called Escape 2000 on MST, this Italian production was originally titled Escape from the Bronx (a title which makes no sense given that the people want to stay there) in an attempt to rip-off John Carpenter’s Escape from New York and is actually the sequel to another film called 1990: The Bronx Warriors.  The plot, or what there is of one, is about a large corporation (how do we know they’re large?  Because their headquarters are in a big building, stupid!) that’s attempting to create a newer, nicer city in the borough known as the Bronx (I think the corporation called the clean-up effort “Operation Gulliani”).  Of course, to do this, they first have to kick out all of the people living in the slums of the Bronx. Some of these people don’t want to leave (although it doesn’t make any sense to stay) and they are going to fight it out to keep their ghetto home.  So the corporation sends in its silver-suited goon squad (called DAS for Disinfectation Annihilation Squad) to “force” the remaining people out.  Now, let’s see... one side recognizes that the Bronx is a festering trash heap and wants to clean it up and build schools and children hospitals while the other is a bunch of scummy gangs that want the burnt-out dump known as the Bronx to stay the same... which side am I on?  Hmmm...  Well, it’s definitely not the same side that our “hero” Trash (appropriate name) is on.  Trash’s parents are killed by DAS troops, so he joins with some others to fight to stay in the Bronx:  a bomb-building nutcase and his equally nutty young son;  a woman reporter who looks like a vampire (a ton of riffs there);  and a laughing guy named Toblerone who runs an underground gang between his constant laughs.  They all come up with a plan to kidnap the president of the corporation and hold him hostage – a plan which they succeed at doing, although with the loss of the woman vampire reporter (i.e. no loss at all).  They run around, blowing up dozens of silver-suited DAS troops until finally the corporation gets the president back.  But the second-in-command at the corporation has already decided to take over, so he has the president shot on sight.  The shooting and blowing up continues for the rest of the movie until the head of the DAS is the only one left and he decides to drive along in a van, picking off people with his pistol until he too is killed.  Then it just ends with Trash and the bomb-building father and son left, all just standing there in the dumpy, burnt-out hell-hole they successful defended.

Host Segments:

• Prologue: Crow has an auction
• Segment One: Crow tries to use a magnifying glass to burn an ant
• Segment Two: Crow tries biofeedback
• Segment Three: Men’s night on the SOL
• Segment Four: Dr F introduces Timmy Bobby Rusty to boost ratings
• Segment Five (End): letters; laughing guy visits from next door

Stinger: Laughing Guy spits

Don’s Review:  If your idea of a great movie is one where you can watch silver-suited guys get blown up for ninety minutes straight, then stop looking because Escape 2000 was custom-made for you. As for the rest of us movie-goers, we have to suffer through scene after monotonous scene of watching silver-suited guys blowing up again and again and again.  So this is a pretty bad movie, although not a dull one, with some enjoyable riffs from Mike and the ’Bots.  The host segments, on the other hand, are surprisingly lame and only slightly redeemed by the appearance by the Laughing Guy from the movie (played by Mike) in the final segment as a new neighbor to Deep 13.  But, all-in-all, well worth a look.

Don’s Rating: 

Forrest’s Review:  This was never a favorite episode of mine, but boy, it is now!  I was very sleepy when I first viewed this episode, and I even fell asleep in the middle of it, so I first judged it on that.  Then one day, I decided to pop this episode into my VCR to give it another go.  I nearly died laughing! Toblerone is by far my favorite character in an MST3K film, or maybe in second place next to Rowsdower. Anyway, the movie? Typical.  It’s basically about... well, just read Don’s One Line Summary at the top of the page. There you have it.
     Tablone (known as Toblerone to MiSTies) makes this episode. Without him, I’d most probably give this episode  3 CROWS.  But he made this movie enjoyable. He made me laugh probably harder than any of the riffs, although the riffing, while not at the highest heard on the show, has a special inexplicable charm, sorta like the one that Josh pointed out in his review of Pod People.  This episode does have an inexplicable charm... I can’t describe it at all, but this episode ranks among my favorite as of this time.  I will see this experiment many more times! To see Trash in action against Peanut Head is great. To see a little Italian boy blow up guys in silver suits with plastic explosives is great. To see silver guys flying through the air in slow-mo is great. The riffing is great. And Toblerone is great. What more? Great episode, but at the end of the movie (with Tom Servo’s funny “Leave Bronx” song), I was going to originally give this episode 4.5 CROWS due to lame host segments.  But then, in Deep 13, Mike Nelson is Toblerone!  And it’s hilarious!!!  This is what made the episode a classic.

Forrest’s Rating: 

Related Links:
    (1) MST3K Info Club Website (BBI’s ACEG-style Write-up)
    (2) Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension (Humorous Movie Review)