 605 - COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS
Genre: Cheesy Sword and Sandal (1960, Color)
Synopsis: In this movie, which seems to be a Hercules rip-off with an even lower budget than the Herc flicks, our hero Colossus (but who is, instead, called “my cheese steak” or something like that throughout the film) is on an island with a village of other people in really cheap costumes.
The volcano on the island begins to erupt in a very cheesy special-effect, so Colossus and the villagers hop on a raft and the island exploded and sinks into the ocean.
They sail away in the hope of finding land, which, it turns out, is located just a few miles away from their crappy little island (R.I.P.).
But, once they land on this new land, they are taken prisoner by the people who live there and wear even cheaper looking costumes.
At these new people’s village, Colossus talks to their leader, Queen Amoa, and finds out that they were a proud people who lived in a city of gold.
But one of their own turned traitor and lead an attack of the savage headhunters who filled the golden city with rivers of blood as severed heads rolled down the streets (hey, that story sounds interesting
– why didn’t the filmmakers make THAT movie???).
Queen Amoa tells of how the traitor captured her father and how this little village is the remnants of her people, fearful of the day the headhunters attack again.
She wants Colossus to stay because he is supposed to be her
people’s savior or
something. But he instead decides to get the hell out of Dodge, so he leads his people back to their raft.
Suddenly, the dreaded headhunter attack begins, and the queen’s people are defeated and she is taken prisoner.
The wimpy-looking traitor now wants her to be his bride so he can be the legitimate king of her remaining people.
To do this, he must get permission from her father, the old former king, whom he captured and blinded long
ago and who is rotting away in a dungeon. But Colossus
first returns and he and a friend sneak into the dungeon to release the old blind former king.
While they try to escape with the blind man, the skinny traitor takes him from Colossus & Co. and the traitor returns to his village.
There, he gets the old blind man to agree to the wedding as long as he
doesn’t cut his daughter, Queen Amoa’s head off.
So the wedding ceremony begins – but the daughter comes up with a sinister plan to delay it until Colossus can get there: she has her handmaid do the ritualistic dance!
And boy, is it a ritual getting through this thing! (The handmaid
is such a bad dancer that I think she could make it in the club in
Girl in Gold Boots!) After the torturous ritualistic dance is over, the ceremony is about to start again when Colossus and the remaining village warriors attack.
This time, they kick some serious butt and the skinny traitor takes the queen and runs back to the remnants of the golden city to
hide (I guess). Colossus follows and, after rescuing the queen yet again, kills the traitor.
The queen wants Colossus to stay, but he must go on to have other adventures, so she swims out to his raft to be with him and completely abandon her people.
Don’s Review: This was a really funny episode to watch, mainly because I really like the cheesy sword-and-sandal type flicks on MST3K.
The riffing was top-notched all the way through and the host segments were a scream as they dealt with
Frank’s pet, Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter, who every human on the show is seriously (and pathetically) attached to.
Frank’s sad song when he’s separated from Nummy Muffin because Dr F set it up to the SOL is a particular highlight.
So there’s nothing more to add: this is an excellent episode.
Don’s Rating: 
Forrest’s Review: This episode is one of the great ones.
It’s one that you notice something new every time you see it.
It has that unexplainable charm to it that most episodes
don’t have. It has riffing that never attacks the film harshly, but has a more good natured feel to it, which offers up great laughs, and even relaxation.
The riffing in this one is set up very well, it’s a little more Joel style, but Mike and the Bots seem to be having a great time with this enjoyable film, and I did too.
The riffing isn’t rapid fire, but set up like punch lines, and the humor in this one is so diverse that anyone can get laughs out of it.
Though the riffing isn’t as brilliant as some episodes, this is one of those that has that drowsy, yet, energetic feel to it.
I get a bunch of laughs, but it’s also one I love to fall asleep to.
It’s like Pod People. The host segments are also a lot of fun, dealing
with....well, Don already pointed it out. And I agree with him.
This is a great episode.
Forrest’s Rating:
|
