 604 - ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE
Genre: Low-budget ’80s Heavy Metal Horror (1986, Color)
Synopsis: After opening with an odd zombie scene,
the movie then shows as a boy and his family are walking home from his Little League game and they run across a couple of hoodlums attacking a girl.
The boy’s fat father runs over and beats up the hoodlums.
But when he turns his back to help the girl, one of the hoods sticks him and he dies, falling on the poor girl and crushing her to death.
Then it’s years later, and a big long-haired guy is leaving his house to go get groceries... why
it’s the little boy who we saw in the previous scene.
How do we know this? Because he’s still carrying the aluminum baseball bat he had as a
kid! (I guess he never goes anywhere without it.)
At the corner grocery, a couple of other hoods walk in to rob it, but our good-doer long-haired guy see this from the back of the store and beats up both of the hoods, chasing them out of the store.
The movie then jumps to a group at a club. One long-haired guy in the group (I’ll call him
Skunk-Patch for the small bit of color in his hair... and for his acting skills) gets in an argument with someone behind him so the bouncer kicks them all out for being underage.
They all hop into Skunk-Patch’s Mercedes and take off recklessly on the road.
About this time, the good-doer long-haired guy is leaving the grocery store, probably to
go and do more good deeds, when the Mercedes appears out of nowhere and hits him.
The grocery store owner runs out and sees what has happened so he takes the long-haired guy, not to the hospital, but to the
guy’s mother’s house.
She sends for the local voodoo witch woman who talks in a sheep-like
“baa-ing” voice. This voodoo witch performs a ceremony to revive the dead long-haired guy as a zombie (see
film’s opening scene) who will get revenge on everyone who has wronged him.
First, Zombie Guy attacks a couple from the Mercedes while they are together in a hot tub at the Y.
He breaks the guy’s neck and he beats the girl to death (off-screen) with his trusty aluminum baseball bat.
The police arrive to investigate: on the case is a 12-year-old looking detective and a strange-talking medical examiner.
They discuss whether the violent deaths were a murder/suicide thing but soon the police, lead by police chief Batman... I mean Adam West, determine the real cause of death: drug overdose.
The 12-year-old detective isn’t convinced that a drug dose bashed the
girl’s brains in and snapped the guy’s neck, so he keeps investigating.
Meanwhile, off-screen (due to BBI edits), Zombie Guy strikes again, impaling
Skunk-Patch Guy with the aluminum baseball bat. (Boy, I
wish I could’ve seen this well-deserved death scene!)
The police first suspect suicide again but then can’t quite determine who the killer is.
The only witness, a cocktail waitress, says it was a “giant.”
Finally, a break in the case as the 12-year-old detective determines that the voodoo witch woman was at both death scenes.
He brings it to the attention of police chief Bruce Wayne... I mean Adam West, who instead already has a murder suspect in a guy with a mohawk.
Next, Zombie Guy kills Skunk-Patch’s dad as he sits in his car with the door
open. And so the last remaining Mercedes guy and his Mercedes girlfriend, Tia Carrere, are hiding out in a building waiting for
Zombie Guy to come for them.
He does, but the 12-year-old detective has also followed the voodoo witch woman there, so he sees
Zombie Guy kill the last remaining two
Mercedes people. Zombie Guy then wanders outside into a cemetery as Adam West shows up and shoots
both him and the voodoo witch woman
– but not before she tells him that Zombie Guy is after him too because he,
along with Skunk-Patch’s dad, were the hoodlums that killed the long-haired guy’s father many years ago.
With this, Zombie Guy’s zombie dad reaches out and drags Batman into his Grave/Hell (if only he was wearing his utility belt, he probably could have gotten away).
Host Segments:
- Prologue: The Bots are
Secret Service agents protecting Mike from, well,
everything
- Segment One: The Mads
are on a voodoo kick, so they send M&tBs a voodoo
kit, which they use to do nice things to people...
until they get to Dr. F.
- Segment Two: Crow is
busy reading, when Servo zooms in and hits him
- Segment Three: The Bots
are hot tubbing, when Mike shows up unexpectedly
- Segment Four: Tom is
Batman and Mike is Robin for Crow’s Batman play
– but Crow is not ready at all
- Segment Five (End): The
Bots read letters that they wrote to Adam West;
Frank has turned Dr. F into a zombie
Stinger: The dead
long-haired guy awakes from the dead as a zombie and
screams
Don’s Review: This movie is one of those low-budget
’80s horror flicks that inevitably show up, somewhere, on late night TV.
It’s plot is like a cross between I Know What You Did Last Summer and
The Crow minus all of the style and any semblance of quality.
It actually starts with a scene from later in the movie, just to get a quick “scare” in the audience, as a voodoo witch woman re-animates a long-haired dead guy. He sits up and screams and now
it’s time for the credits.
Hey, this title song sounds vaguely familiar... why, it’s “Ace of Spades” by Motorhead
– Awesome! Of course, every other song in the movie is some pretty lame Heavy Metal crap from a lot of bands I’ve never heard of,
but at least they have Motorhead’s one “good” song. Unfortunately, this opening credit sequence turns out to be the highlight of the entire film.
This cheesy, low-budget flick is riffed by M&tBs pretty
well, particularly down the stretch.
The host segments aren’t very memorable, but none of them lasts very long either, except for a
somewhat amusing Batman sketch. And the Mads’ host segments are also pretty funny
– I especially liked the last one where Frank has turned Dr. F into a zombie.
So this is a rather fun episode that’s worth checking out.
Don’s Rating: 
Forrest’s Review: This one one of the first
’80s movies seen on the Mike era, and the riffing wasn’t
good.... it was gut-burstingly hilarious!!! The movie, is one of those awful, awful movies from the
’80s, like the kind found in the Sci-Fi era. Most of the laughs found in this episode were not just laughs, they were fits of laughter.
Laughter that could wake up the neighborhood. I even had to rewind some riffs to hear them again and again.
The riffing on Adam West was top-notch. The most memorable and hilarious being:
“This is Tim Burton’s last night on Earth...” and another:
“Hello... 1-900-SPANK-ME.” The host segments were reasonably enjoyable, but very short, the movie was laughably bad, and the riffing and Adam West antics make this an A+,
5-CROW episode, that I will watch again and again.
“Bow down to my nipples!” Sheer joy!
Forrest’s Rating: 
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