520 - RADAR SECRET SERVICE with short: LAST CLEAR CHANCE

Don’s Synopsis:  This movie opens as a stodgy narrator tells us about all of the great uses for radar, such as shooting down enemy planes and ramming icebergs.  Next, we see some guy named Tom using radar to watch TV at the HQ of the Radar Secret Service (RSS).  His boss, Mr. Hamilton soon walks in and has a weird backstory-filling conversation with Tom that hypes radar and overfishing.  Meanwhile, RSS Agents Bill Travis and his partner are looking for the murder gun used in the Allen Case by using radar to somehow search the side of the road, where they find the gun buried under 3cm of sand.  Now that the Allen Case is closed, Bill the rest at RSS can have a radar-hyping conversation with Mr. Hamilton arguing for the increased use of radar in fighting crime.  The story then switches to a restaurant, where a butter-haired woman receives a note about some sort of package arriving at noon tomorrow on Hwy 13.  She then calls four guys, including Sid “Monkey Boy” Melton, who are sitting around in a drab little room and tells them to pick up the “material” (…but first we unfortunately get a dose of Sid’s unfunny comedy relief).  Meanwhile, Blackie meets up with his message-passing waitress girlfriend and talks about blowing this town once the job is over.  Butter-haired lady then means up with his boyfriend and talks about the message too.  Next, RSS is called and told to be ready for a shipment of Uranium-238 (hmmm, is this the “material” in the package that’s shipping at noon tomorrow… I think so!) that the RSS will need to protect.  So they use radar again to watch the unescorted shipment on TV, seeing it get high-jacked while they are sitting on their asses. (Way to go, boys.) The RSS car arrives on the scene of the high-jacking and captures Blackie, aka the waitresses’ boyfriend, as the rest of the gang escape with the truck full of U-238, which they hide in what must be a radar-impervious barn (something that can block out radar!? Blasphemy!!!)   Next, the hat-wearing bad guys will use Marge-the-waitress to keep the incarcerated Blackie from singing to the coppers about their hideout.  Michael, the head bad guy then decides that they have to get rid of the RSS truck before moving the stolen U-238 out of town on a yacht.  When Michael leaves, Mickey grabs Peggy Lee and tells her to get rid of him when the job is over.  RSS next find a picture of Marge-the-Waitress in Blackie’s address book, so they start to look for her, looking in every restaurant in town.  When they find her, she immediately makes a call to Bad Guy HQ; the RSS guys write this down and leave without ordering (or leaving a tip!).  Lila and Michael drop even more plot-points as Mickey arrives to tell them that they got rid of the truck.  Next, Mickey goes to Bad Guy HQ and talks about moving the shipment out.  RSS guys follow Marge to Bad Guy HQ. Mickey and some other bad guy load a car with the U-238 and drive off to deliver it to Michael’s yacht.  Back at RSS, they use the amazing powers of radar to ID Mickey’s U-238 loaded car, so Bill & his partner are sent in pursuit, forcing Mickey to ditch the car and escape on foot.  Mickey knocks Bill out and when he comes to, Marge is there, so he tries to convince her to help them in order to help Blackie.   RSS is waiting for the bad guys to move more of the U-238, so they decide to put radar in the air using a helicopter to help track down the bad guys hideout quicker.  Mickey, though, has a sneaky plan to put some of the U-238 in a car as a decoy for the RSS, while the main shipment sneaks out and delivers it to Michael’s yacht.  But the decoy car goes out of control and crashes, letting RSS know it’s not the main shipment.  Meanwhile, Mickey is taking the larger shipment to the yacht in the other truck, but is soon detected by the radar helicopter overhead.  After figuring out that the wrecked car was a decoy, Bill and sidekick hurry to pursue the real shipment truck.  Mickey & his henchman then take the U-238 truck off the road to evade the helicopter by hiding under a tree for the drop-off. (Hey, what about the yacht everyone’s been talking on-and-on about???)   Michael’s guys show up to pick up the U-238 and to double-cross Mickey, but the RSS men arrive and a gun fight breaks out.  Mickey is shot, but still escapes in a car, as the RSS helicopter pursues.  Mickey goes to Lila’s house, but is shot again by Michael.  As Michael and Lila try to escape, Marge shows up and stops them at gunpoint.  Marge then tries to call the police, but Michael shoots her.  RSS Agent Bill then arrives and captures Michael & Lila.  The movie ends with yet another radar-hyping session to wrap it up.

Host Segments:

Don’s Review:  Yet another horribly dated Robert Lippett production (who also released Lost Continent, Rocketship XM, and King Dinosaur) is the feature in the episode.  The ridiculously advanced portrayal of radar technology, along with the constant long-winded gushing about the miracle of radar, makes this movie ready-made for MST riffing.  And M&tBs generally do a good job making fun of this incredibly dull movie.  But they also have an increasingly annoying habit of going way off-track and talking about stuff completely unrelated to the on-going movie, in particular, their far too often descent into talking about the old ’70s TV show “Welcome Back Kotter” (the first reference was amusing, the rest were just more and more annoying as they ran the joke into the ground).  So this is a good episode highlighted by a great short, but during the feature, I wish M&tBs could’ve stayed more focused on the movie at hand and forgotten about the Sweathogs (good advise that extends beyond this episode to everyone everywhere).

Don’s Rating:     [ S:   F: ]

Forrest’s Review:  I don’t think there has ever been a more boring movie than Radar Secret Service. Oh wait, yeah there is, Hulk.  But, anyway, this movie is still one of the most boring movies ever made, and it even at times had me longing for Coleman Francis movies such as Red Zone Cuba or The Skydivers. As boring as the movie was, the riffing does somewhat save it.  Take Alien From LA, for example.  That movie may not have been as boring as Radar Secret Service, but Mike and the ’Bots just can’t riff on it well.  The riffing on this movie was great at times.  It really was amazing how incredibly fun Mike and his robot pals could make this bore-fest. 
      The short in this episode is easily one of the best ever.  Laugh after laugh after laugh.  There is not one flat moment in the short.  The host segments were also very funny.  The Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis bit was hilarious, and while it didn’t effect Mike and the ’Bots too badly, it deeply hurt me.  I’m really glad that, after Frank left, Mary Jo Pehl didn’t pick too many movies like this one for the show.  Frank seemed to really be fond of the dated, slow, boring movie messes, whereas Mary Jo picked movies that were truly horrible, but not all out boring, such as Space Mutiny. [ed: Don’t forget that she also picked Hamlet!]   Don’t get me wrong, in my opinion, Frank found the best messes for the show.  Just look at Santa Claus!  He deserves an honorary award for that!  But, sometimes he picked movies that were simply too boring.  Sometimes the riffing could save it such as seen in The Starfighters, and sometimes, the riffing could not, such as in Invasion USA.  The riffing was a great effort in this episode, and it had me laughing a lot at times, and the short was a work of brilliance.  But in the end, I totally agree with Don.  This is a good “B” episode, but without the short, this episode may have suffered in its rating (especially if there was no short and the movie ran from the beginning of the episode.  Imagine how horrific the Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis would be then!!!)

Forrest’s Rating:     [ S:   F: ]

Related Link:
    (1) Mighty Jack’s MST3K Review (Episode Review)