MST3K Review

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424 - “MANOS”: THE HANDS OF FATE with short: HIRED! PT 2 (RHINO DVD & VHS)

Genre: Ultra-low Budget Horror, I guess (S: 1941, B&W; F: 1966, Color)

Short: This experiment starts with the continuation of the Hired! short, which BBI split in half (Part I is seen in ep #423). The first part dealt with a door-to-door car salesman failing miserably at his job, while this part deals more with his manager teaching the lousy salesman how to get people into buying a car that they don’t need, mainly by lying to them.

Synopsis: The feature begins as a family (Mike, the father played by the film’s director Hal P. Warren; Margaret, the mother; young daughter Debbie; and a pooch named Pepe) are lost and are looking for a lodge to spend the night. (This part of the movie is like unedited home movie footage of the countryside with virtually nothing to break the monotony.) The family ends up at a house and meet the caretaker, Torgo, who’s basically a weirdo with fat-thighs and a slow, halting way of walking and talking, as well as his own goofy theme music. Torgo then keeps going on and on about “The Master” and then, when Mike the Dad is trying to fix the car, Torgo goes on about how he wants to keep the wife as his own and makes a creepily inept pass at her. Next, the family stands around and stares at a portrait of the Master and his pet hellhound, Rusty. As they stand around forever looking at the picture, Pepe Le Pooch gets out of the house and is somehow killed. The young daughter Debbie then sneaks out of the house too. (She’s trying to escape the movie, I presume, and I don’t blame her!) Torgo, the Bell-Hop The husband Mike and wife Margaret go after their daughter and find her with Rusty, the Master’s very friendly hellhound. Little Debbie then takes her parents outside to see the Master and his wives sleeping it off on some stone slabs, which are apparently located somewhere behind the house. The family gets scared, so they go back inside the house while Torgo comes outside and tells the sleeping Master that the new woman will be Torgo’s wife because the Master already has so many. Torgo then knocks Mike the husband out cold and ineptly ties him to a tree. Finally, the Master and his wives wake up and discuss what to do with the family. There’s a disagreement over the little girl, so the Master’s wives get into a catfight that lasts forever. The Master then tells Torgo that he will die, but instead the Master does nothing but annoy Torgo before spreading out his cape and laughing maniacally. Finally, the Master stops the catfight among his wives, ties one to a post and then burns off Torgo’s hand, who runs off, never to be seen in the movie again. The Master finally goes into the house to get the family and the whole thing ends with a lame twist as a new group of people drives up to the house.

Host Segments:

Prologue: Joel installed a chip in the ’Bots that makes him seem brilliant, but the gushing praise soon gets out-of-hand
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Mads invent the chocolate bunny guillotine for cutting off the heads; Joel invents the Cartuner to combine two never funny comic strips into one funny strip
Segment Two: Joel and the ’Bots are driving (the wrong way!) in front of travelogue footage from the movie when they are pulled over by Officer Gypsy; Frank apologizes for the movie while Dr. F is out of the room
Segment Three: Joel and the ’Bots discuss exaggerated features that make for a horrifying monster, but can’t agree if Torgo counts as one
Segment Four: Joel dresses as a “Hang Ten” version of the Master and Crow is his hellbeast, but Tom isn’t scared one bit; Dr. F apologizes for the movie while Frank is out of the room
Segment Five (End): The ’Bots try to reenact the ladies’ wrestling; Frank orders from Torgo’s Pizza

Stinger: Close-up of girl in car saying “Why don’t you guys leave us alone?”

Don’s Review: This is the infamous “Manos”: The Hands of Fate, which stands alongside Monster A-Go-Go, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Red Zone Cuba, The Skydivers, The Creeping Terror, The Castle of Fu Manchu, and Blood Waters of Dr. Z as one of the worst movies ever shown on MST3K, maybe the absolute worst ever! I mean, I’ve seen old 8mm home movies that looked more professionally shot than Manos! It’s amazing that this was intended to be a frightening Horror Movie, because nothing in it is remotely scary – the character Torgo, for instance, instead of being scary, is so awkward and clumsy that he’s ready-made for mocking (in fact, the riffing by J&tBs is at its best whenever he’s on the screen). Plus what is the deal with the cops and the smooching couple in the car??? Because they have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie!!! Finally, the background music is a wildly inappropriate jazzy score (yes, that’s right, a jazzy score in what is supposed to be a horror movie!) that is highlighted by the hauntingly goofy Torgo Theme. Given how incredibly bad this movie is, this is one of the best example of how MST3K can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear because the riffing is great and makes a movie that would have been impossible to sit through unriffed truly enjoyable. The host segments are also pretty good (Mike Nelson’s appearance as Torgo is hilarious!), making this an obvious fan favorite that simply gets better and better on repeat viewings. As for the Hired! short, the riffing is also great and this is one of the best shorts ever seen on the show. (I highly recommend playing Hired! Part I and Part II back-to-back sometime just to see the whole short in one piece.) Manos is definitely a classic MST3K episode, and was an excellent choice by Rhino for one of their retail selections.
Trivia Note: MST3K is not the first time this movie was publicly riffed on, based on this bit of IMDB.com trivia: “The movie was given a gala premiere in El Paso upon its release, and many of the local dignitaries were on hand. Part way into the film, many people in the audience began to heckle the movie. Many of the film’s stars and crewmembers snuck out before the end out of embarrassment.”
DVD Details: This is offered as a stand-alone DVD disc from Rhino. On the DVD, the main menu is animated with Torgo’s Theme playing endlessly in the background (so don’t leave it on the menu for too long: you now have been warned!) and it has a superb extra: the entire Poopie blooper reel tape! This is so far the only time Rhino has included such an extra on an episode DVD, but there’s still hope that they do so again (...such as, how about putting Poopie II as an extra on the disc for another episode, eh, Rhino?)

Don’s Rating: [ S: F: ]

Forrest’s Review: I bet you my bottom dollar that 6 out of every 10 MiSTies will say that their favorite episode is Manos- The Hands of Fate, and for very good reason. Manos is the most technically inept movie seen on the show - perhaps, the most technically inept movie of all time. Even Werewolf and The Creeping Terror have more depth than this movie. Manos is now my fourth all-time favorite episode! On my last review, I gave this episode, 4.5 CROWS, but on repeat viewings, this episode just gets better and better every time! Manos is almost indescribable, really, there’s so many flaws in the movie, that it’s impossible to pick out a few, because, it would be a flaw within a flaw. In fact, to call it a movie is kind of a stretch, instead of a movie, it’s essentially one big flaw. Torgo, next to Rowsdower (episode 910) and Toblerone (episode 705) is one of my all-time favorite MST3K’d character ever. He is very disturbing, and makes fun of himself, not to mention that his knees are as big as bowling balls. In fact, Torgo is what makes this episode, without him, this episode, would probably not be very popular with fans of the show. "The Master" is not as hilarious as Torgo... but he comes pretty damn close! He had ridiculous giant red hands on his cape, and his pet hell-dog is the most gentle, kind, most adorable dog I’ve ever seen - and it’s supposed to be a hell dog!
      The riffing is MST3K at its absolute best. Joel and the bots are somehow able to make this movie extremely enjoyable. I don’t know how BBI did it, but they truly pulled off a miracle. In fact, the effort shown in the writing of this episode is even more impressive than that of The Starfighters, and that’s saying a lot. Because although The Starfighters had excellent riffing, it still wasn’t enough to save the whole movie. But in this case, BBI saved Manos 100% - the riffing has some of the best lines ever heard on the show. I have now seen this episode five times - hold your applause - and it just gets better every time! This is an example of an MST3K episode that only can get better on a repeat viewing. The first time I saw this episode, I thought it was quite lousy, then I saw it again, liked it more, saw it again, loved it, saw it again, I treasured it, and then again, and I now understand why this episode is a true classic. The riffing is top-notch, Crow, in particular, delivers the best lines in this episode.
      The host segments were enjoyable, though not as good as in the last episode, Bride of the Monster, the host segments were still excellent, I especially enjoyed Joel’s performance as "The Master" along with his adorable hell beast, Crow. I also enjoyed the segment about what would make the scariest monster (Tom Servo: "Nipples. Many shapes, many sizes. Some on my back!"). They’re all good host segments, but the Torgo’s Pizza host segment is hilarious! Mike is Torgo, and just as all his cameo performances, he’s hilarious, and Mike could easily qualify for a variety show like SNL (In fact, he’s much better at skits than most of those people on SNL, especially the "new" episodes).
      The Short - Hired! Part 2 - is one of the funniest shorts on the show. In fact, as great as the first Hired! short was, Part 2 is even better! And the short alone is better than 95% of all the other shorts on the show. The riffing was rapid fire like I’ve never seen before, both of the Hired! shorts are truly excellent shorts and contain some of MST3K’s best work ever. So, excellent commentary on the short, excellent commentary on the movie, and excellent host segments, equals EXCELLENT episode in my book.

Forrest’s Rating: [ S: F: ]