421 - MONSTER A-GO-GO with short: CIRCUS ON ICE

More Accurate Title:  “Monster A No Go”

Short:  This experiment starts with Circus on Ice, which is a light short about a lame Ice Skating Show with a vague “Circus” theme, giving Joel & the ’Bots a chance to dig their claws mercilessly into the ice skaters, particularly one who does a bizarre interpretative dance of a deer being shot down by hunters.

Synopsis:  After encountering some “mysterious” and unseen objects in outer space, a tiny little space capsule crash lands in a field somewhere, next to a tree.  The astronaut on board, Frank Douglas, has apparently been mutated into a tall, skinny, ugly guy with a bad complexion, who kills anyone he touches with some sort of radiation poisoning.  While Tall Ugly Guy is wandering around, killing people, some scientists and the military are busily trying to find him.  Meanwhile, another scientist somehow unseen captures Tall Ugly Guy and experiments on him to turn him back to normal.  We then find out that Tall Ugly Guy is the result of some sort of experimental treatment this scientist gave Frank Douglas to protect him against radiation.  (So which is worse: the disease or the cure?)  Unseen again, Tall Ugly Guy escapes the lab and goes directly to the city of Chicago, because it’s his kind of town: cold and polluted.  There, the military trucks and ambulances and fire engines and police cars (we get to see every single one of them drive by!) all converge on the sewers looking for Tall Ugly Guy.  They chase him into the sewers but then the movie ends abruptly as we are inexplicably told by the stodgy narrator that Tall Ugly Guy simply disappeared and astronaut Frank Douglas landed safely at sea. (What?  That’s it???  Not even a Third Man sewer scene rip-off ending?!??  What a gip!!!)

Don’s Review:  I’ve seen The Hellcats.  I’ve seen The Castle of Fu Manchu. I’ve seen The Creeping Terror.  I’ve even seen Wild Wild West.  Those movies are all completely hideous, awful excuses for motion pictures.  But they all have one thing in common: they are all better than Monster A-Go-Go. Why? Because they all have some semblance of a plot and an ending, things that the movie Monster A-Go-Go completely lacks! (Even calling this a “movie” is a stretch, given that it lacks a plot, people who can act, competent miking, editing, and simply making sense.)  Unfortunately, the riffing by Joel & the ’Bots, though very good, only really shines through this mess a few times.  J&tBs give it a good shot, but don’t elevate this awful movie enough as they do for the just as awful Manos a few shows later, so this episode can be a very tough one to sit all the way through (something I’ve now done twice!) – so much so, that I advise watching it in small bits and pieces instead.  Although the movie is a tough sit, I really like the host segments for this episode, especially the invention exchange and the examination of the inane “Pina Colada Song” (I personally like drinking pina coladas, but hate that damn song!), and even though the final segment starts off rather silly, it redeems itself with Tom and Crow’s long and hilarious description of what the movie is like (as well as their naming two “good” things about the movie).  As for the short that starts the experiment, it is a personal favorite of mine mainly because of the subject matter (Ice Shows, like amateur contests, are events that I find excruciating to sit through and J&tBs riffing one to shreds is a-okay by me!).  So this is an episode that a lot of diehard MSTies will really take a liking to, but from which newbies need to stay away, stay very far away!
Trivia Note:  This is the infamous movie with someone imitating a phone “BRRINGGG!” sound in one of the worst sound effects ever. (Damn! That makes me think of a new MiSTAyes category, all too late – but I’ll remember that when we do another one!)

Don’s Rating:     [ S: F: ]

Josh’s Review:  From the beginning of Season Two through the end of Season Ten, only one movie seemed to reek so terribly throughout that it was impossible for the crew of the SOL to do anything to save it.  This movie was Monster A-Go-Go.  Certainly there have been worse episodes, but primarily because the riffing and host segments were so uncharacteristically weak.  The riffing and host segments in this episode really weren’t that bad, and it includes some very memorable lines and one of the shows better invention exchanges ever.  Generally speaking, the combination of all of these well done elements make any given movie very watchable and enjoyable.  Unfortunately, no amount of witty jokes and brilliant writing could ever save this movie, arguably one of the very worst ever to appear on the show. 
      The biggest problem with this movie is very easy to identify.  It’s incredibly boring.  The acting is lousy, the lighting is exceptionally bad (some people appear not to have faces), but these things alone don’t lower Monster A-Go-Go to the rank of other horrendous titles such as Manos: The Hands of Fate and Hobgoblins.  Monster A-Go-Go is one of the worst movies ever to appear on the show because it’s impossible to follow and actually stay focused in on the plot.  After multiple viewings I honestly can’t tell you much about what happens in this movie.  Some people discover a capsule. A kind looking fellow with bad acne wanders about for a few seconds.  Some scientists talk for an extended period of time. A person makes a telephone sound with their mouth. I’m pretty sure that sums up the entire story.  If you can stay focused on this movie long enough to write a detailed synopsis about it, you’re a far better person than I.  There is nothing redeeming about this movie.  It’s not even fun to hate.  There’s actually very little to even complain about because the movie simply lacks anything resembling content.
      The short before the feature entitled Circus on Ice really isn’t one of my favorites.  I disagree with the decision to use Circus on Ice during an episode at all since there really just isn’t much to say about really bland ice dancing.  I would even go so far as to say that this is the second worst short ever seen on the show next to the very chilling Alphabet Antics featured before the movie Daddy-O.  The riffing on Circus on Ice starts off decent enough, but loses its edge quickly and becomes repetitive after a while, with many of the riffs directed in the same way. 
      In conclusion, there are many good things about this episode, but most of them really don’t make up for the torture inflicted on the viewer during the actual movie and even the short.  The invention exchange featuring “Johnny Longtorso” is classic, as is the ending of the show.  The host segments are average at best as they don’t really have anything to with the movie.  Because it’s such a bad movie and somewhat of a significant installment of the show, I actually recommend that all MSTies see this one.   Even so, it’s not a particularly good episode, so be sure to prepare yourself for the long and excruciating trip to hell that is Monster A-Go-Go. 

Josh’s Rating:    [ S:   F: ]

Related Links:
   (1) Mighty Jack’s MST3K Review (Episode Review)
   (2) The Agony Booth (Humorous Movie Review) 
   (3) Bookworm’s Episode Review