MST3K Review

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403 - CITY LIMITS

Genre: Low Budget ’80s Post-Apocalyptic (1984, Color)

Don’s Synopsis: A desert biker guy with a goofy skull mask leaves his naked girlfriend in a water tower so that he can go into some burnt-out post-apocalyptic city (establishing the fact that this guy is an idiot from the get-go). He wants to join a biker gang in the city called the “Clippers” but the gang, lead by someone named Mick, already has a guy with a goofy skull mask so the desert guy, now called Cowboy, is rejected (although his résumé is kept on file). But then some confusing stuff happens involving Yogi (Rae Dawn Chong, who must have gotten into Daddy’s stash just before signing onto this movie!) and Cowboy, who fights members of a rival gang and apparently kills one of them (I think). Cowboy hides out with the Clippers, but they plan to turn him over to the rival gang to prevent a gang war. Then a resolution to this develops from a comic book: Trial by Combat. Cowboy (inexplicably) wins the Trial by Combat and, soon afterwards, Kim Cattrall shows up to try to get the gang to accept lights provided by the City Renewers. However, she didn’t know how stupid the Clippers are and they, of course, reject this generous offer of lights. Therefore, the City Renewers have a new plan: renew the city with bullets first, then lights second. Kim Cattrall doesn’t like the new plan, so she sneaks out to warn the Clippers. But before she can, the City Renewers ambush the gang while they are burning a dead body. Cowboy, Yogi, Mick, and Kim Cattrall are all able to escape the ambush. The City Renewers then capture Mick, but the others soon rescue him and the movie ends up at the beginning of the film, in which they meet an embarrassed James Earl Jones. After resting at the Jones farm, the remaining bikers create some new threads and return to the city to kick some City Renewer butt. Soon guys are blowing up everywhere and Robbie Benson is crushed behind a desk. So the gangs win and the burnt-out, lightless city remains just that: burnt-out and lightless.

Host Segments:

Prologue: The Bots set Joel up for a ping-pong ball gag
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Crow has lost his eyes among the ping-pong balls (or so he thinks); Frank is singing while hammering; J&tBs invent Mr. Meat and Potato Head and other heads of meat; the Mads invent a tupperware coffin to lock in pop star freshness (first one in: ex-The Smiths singer Morrissey, played by Mike)
Segment Two: Crow sings a little ditty to actress Kim Cattrall that he calls, well, “Kim Cattrall”, and that is then followed by a re-enactment of a scene from the movie Mannequin
Segment Three: The Bots are looking at their comic book collection, when Joel walks in, so they begin thinking up ideas for new comic book (I mean, graphic novel) superheroes
Segment Four: J&tBs are still brainstorming new superheroes
Segment Five (End): J&tBs are playing the City Limits Trivia Game (but no one can remember anything from the movie); two letters; Dr. F is being bothered by Morrissey, so Frank gets rid of the singer

Stinger: Guy in guard tower screams as a remote-controlled toy airplane blows it up

Don’s Review: The ’80s were full of films like this: cheap, poorly-made Mad Max knockoffs with little plot or entertainment value – and I should know, because I saw most of them! And this one may be the worst of the bunch. It expects the audience to be cheering for the loser bikers, but I found myself pulling for the City Renewers, mainly because they were trying to bring back civilization, an act which would’ve brought back something predominant in civilization: stories with plots! This movie was pretty confusing throughout and, as the ’Bots say after it’s over, doesn’t stick with you at all. The riffing really couldn’t help this one – some movies just aren’t very riffable (although, as a big fan of the band The Smiths, I really enjoyed the mad host segments with Mike spoofing the singer Morrissey).
Trivia Note: This movie features Joel opening an umbrella in the theater to cover up some brief rear nudity (although he misses the first shot!) early in the film.

Don’s Rating: