316 - GAMERA VS. ZIGRA

Genre:  Japanese Monster (1971, Color)

Don’s Synopsis:  In this, the seventh Gamera movie (BBI skipped #6: Gamera vs. Giger), a planet called Zigra wants to conquer the Earth.  And so the invading Zigran spaceship initially attacks a model base on the Moon, and then attacks the Earth, first through earthquakes but then by focusing on a Japanese theme park called Sea World.  We meet the two annoying kids in this movie – the short-shorts wearing Kenny (yes, another Kenny) and the Coca-Cola addicted Helen – as they sneak off with their oceanographer fathers.  Zigra, the water-loving flying saucer, then kidnaps the two kids and their fathers for no real reason, except to explain the Zigrans’ plans to rule the world to them (plans they also broadcast over the radio).  The two dads demand proof of the Zigrans’ powers, so the Zigran woman tells them that they will destroy Tokyo with a magnitude 16 (Richter 16?) earthquake.  (Is that enough proof for you, dad?)  The Zigran woman then puts the whammy on the two dads, but the two kids run away and are able to escape with their under-the-whammy fathers.  The Zigran woman is ordered to find the two kids and kill them (I’m beginning to like these Zigrans all of a sudden).  And just as the Zigran flying saucer is about to destroy the boat with the kids onboard, Gamera shows up and save them, to the annoying strains of the Gamera Theme Song.  Somehow the kids end up on an island with some old freak, but soon they are cross-examined by the military about Zigra in a scene of ridiculously pointless dialogue.  Meanwhile, the Zigran woman is going around in a bikini and then a miniskirt looking for the kids to kill them. (I really like her!)   Just as the Zigran woman is about to grab the kids, they get away by throwing some stuffed teddy bears at her (honest, I’m not making this one up).  About this time, Gamera shows up and starts fighting the Zigran flying saucer underwater and his fire-breath (it even works underwater!) somehow turns the Zigran spaceship into a giant shark monster.  But the Shark Monster puts the whammy on Gamera, causing him to fall to the bottom of the ocean.  Now that Zigra is a giant shark monster, it cannot return to its planet, so it says that it will instead destroy all life on Earth.  Meanwhile, the scientists figure out they can break the Zigran whammy by singing badly into a microphone.  So they break the whammy on the Zigran woman, who was trying to feed the two kids to the dolphins (...actually, they’re killer whales – but she’s just a Zigran, so I’ll let it slide).  After breaking the whammy, the scientists find out that the bad woman really is a good Earth woman who was kidnapped, put under the whammy, and made to do the Zigrans’ evil biddings.  Everyone is still stumped on how to defeat the Zigran shark, but luckily Kenny pipes in and says they should let Gamera destroy the shark monster (real genius, that kid).  So a plan is hatched to use a diving bathescope to find Gamera and wake him up.  The two scientist and the two stowaway kids dive in the bathescope and find Gamera but can’t wake him.  Soon, the Zigran shark monster shows up and takes the bathescope hostage, threatening to kill everyone inside if the Earth doesn’t surrender...  Let’s see, four people’s lives vs. the lives of everyone else on the Earth... decisions, decisions... so, of course, the Earth surrenders. Huhhh?!??  But, luckily, Gamera finally wakes up and rescues everyone on the bathescope while Zigra is snoozing.  Gamera then returns and fights it out with Zigra, and after using the shark monster as a giant xylophone to play the musical “scales,” Gamera destroys the Zigra monster with his fire breath once and for all.

Don’s Review:  This experiment features the final Gamera movie of the original film series (in fact, the giant turtle wouldn’t return in an all-new movie until the well-regarded ’90s-era Gamera Trilogy over 20 years later).  And this is an amazing awful Monster Movie, much worse than any of the other Gamera movies seen on MST.  The plot takes on so many juvenile developments, that I was wondering if the script was written by a five-year-old (assuming that there was a script, that is).  For example, the scenes in which the Zigran Woman chases the kids around are so mind-bogglingly childish, that I couldn’t believe an adult actually wrote what I was watching.  Add to that, scenes that linger on so long or have nothing to do with the rest of the movie, and I was also wondering if the editor understood his own job description.  And the bad monster here is probably Gamera’s weakest opponent ever, in the guise of a lame-looking shark monster with a beak.  The riffing here by J&tBs, though, is good and helps make this an enjoyable episode.  But the host segments are a bit weak, with only the keg party segments even standing out.  So this is a reasonable good episode, overall, but still my least favorite of the cable-era Gamera experiments.
Trivia Note: This is the second time that this movie was featured on MST, the first time was episode K07 during the KTMA days of the show.

Don’s Rating: 

Forrest’s Synopsis:  What a horrible movie!  Even seeing this only recently from when I write this, the whole film was so painful and unmemorable that I seem to have blocked it from my memory, so excuse me if I am wrong on a few details.  The film seems to center around this Sea World place.  There's these two kids. A Kenny/Akio/Johnny/Roxanne/Mickey/Itchy-type boy with short shorts, and a coke (the drink) loving girl (whom I cannot remember the name of).  Apparently there's this alien chick that wants to rule the world (isn't that always the way in these Gamera films?) - so she sends the evil creature Zigra to kill everyone - and a bunch of crap happens and Gamera saves the day.  The End.

Forrest’s Review:  THE PAIN!!!! Okay, I escaped the Time of the Apes.  I defied Mighty Jack.  I listen to Krankor laugh, and I've seen Godzilla actually fly.  And I've seen a giant turtle fly many times. But of all the Japain (har, har), nothing is as painful, or childish, as Gamera vs. Zigra.  Usually I ENJOY the Japanese flicks on MST3K.  Yes, that's right I enjoy them.  Sure they're bad, but perhaps it's because I just get a ting of nostalgia from them, being I grew up on a good helping of Godzilla flicks as a child. However, this particular Gamera flick is pure pain.  An evil, evil film.  The riffing was pretty good.  While not as high as in Gamera and Gamera vs. Guiron, this is probably my fourth favorite of the Gamera episodes on the SOL.  I laughed out loud quite a few times, and chuckled all the way through, and the host segments were excellent.  The best was the one where Mike Nelson and Bridget Jones play the little kids from the film.  Bridget Jones made me laugh when she said: "Gamera is my boyfriend!"  All in all, another really good episode in a great season, though not quite up to par with the antics of the original Kenny and the infamous Cornjob.  Coke is fun, but traffic accidents are better.

Forrest’s Rating: 

Related Link:
   (1) Mighty Jack’s MST3K Review (Episode Review)