212 - GODZILLA VS. MEGALON

Genre:  Japanese Monster (1973/1976, Color)

Don’s Synopsis:  In this, the first Japanese Monster movie experiment of the Cable era of the show, a nuclear test in the Pacific Ocean causes earth tremors and other problem above ground in Japan, and even worse damage below ground in the secret community of Seatopia.  The fruity-looking leader of Seatopia decides to send out their pet Megalon, a strange-looking bug monster with two Chrysler Buildings for arms, to bring havoc to the surface world and stop these nuclear tests.  Meanwhile, a couple of male inventors and their kid (no women… okay, so its that type of relationship) are at a lake where the kid (who has the most annoying voice this side of Jar Jar Binks) is riding an incredibly goofy and very impractical paddleboat when the earth tremors start.  The two guys manage to get the kid out of the water right before the entire lake drains away.  The three return to their home, where they interrupt two intruders from Seatopia.  The intruders escape, but soon return, take the three hostage, and steal the inventors’ robot named Jet Jaguar.  It turns out the Seatopians need the robot Jet Jaguar (who has a permanent, creepy smile on his face like Jack Nicholson as the Joker) to somehow control Megalon.  Of course, the three main characters escape from the Seatopian henchmen (two of them escape when Megalon virtually dropkicks the crate they are in about 500 yards).  They manage to get control of the flying Jet Jaguar back and send him to Monster Island to communicate with Godzilla through some sort of monster sign language and get him to come and help.  Jet Jaguar flies back from Monster Island and then, by somehow growing to about 20x his original size, he fights Megalon on his own.  The Seatopians, seeing Megalon getting his ass kicked by Jet Jaguar, call up another monster named Gigan, who looks like a giant bird with two hooks for arms, to join in the fight.  The two monsters then start to kick Jet Jaguar’s metal butt all over the place but Godzilla arrives in time to save the tin man.  Even more ridiculously goofy fighting scenes occur until Godzilla and Jet Jaguar finally kick monster ass all the way back home to Seatopia.  And then the movie ends with the Jerry Lewis inflected singing of the “Jet Jaguar” song.

Stinger:  Godzilla cannonballs into the water

Don’s Review:  Although this is one of the worst Godzilla movies ever, it’s so incredibly goofy that it makes for excellent MST material and J&tBs are in great form throughout (especially Joel and Crow).  The inherent goofiness of the movie combined with some great riffs makes this one of the best examples of the “synergy thing” the show can have with some movies, such that the movie would seem to be missing something if just viewed on its own. (It’s almost as if this movie was tailor-made just to be on MST.)  The host segments are also pretty amusing, particular the dysfunctional “Orville Popcorn” skit which is one of my all-time favorites.  And the final segment that featured subtitled lyrics for the Japanese-language “Jet Jaguar” song is a hilarious end to the experiment.  This is one of the most enjoyable episodes of the entire run of the show and my personal favorite of all of the Japanese Movie experiments, just edging out Gamera by a whisker.  Very highly recommended.

Don’s Rating: 

Forrest’s Synopsis:  Godzilla and an Ultra Man rip-off star in the most idiotic Godzilla film ever created (okay, SECOND most idiotic, when Godzilla’s Revenge is taken into account).  The story runs roughly like this: There is a place underground called Seatopia, where KKK members dance around and worship Bruce Campbell statues (because the statues have big chins... haha...ha...ha.......ha...).  Well, anyway, the leader of Seatopia (who looks like a gay porn star) gets pissed off with the human’s nuclear tests.  So he sends Megalon, a giant cockroach creature, to kill everyone on Earth.  Meanwhile, there are two guys and a kid, who invent the ultimate robot – Ultraman! – er, I mean, Jet Jaguar!  The kid and one of the guys are kidnapped, and it is up to the other guy (dubbed “Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy” by the MST gang) to save them...etc... Plot – bah, who needs it?  The last act of the film shows us why the movie was REALLY made.  To see guys fight in rubber suits.  On this level, the movie does not disappoint! The end of the movie is very disturbing, awkward and painful. The Jet Jaguar finale song ranks with “Pick Licker”, “Night Train to Mundo Fine” and, of course, “My My Mitchell”, as one of the most disturbing songs in history. (But still better than 99.999999% of pop music these days.)

Forrest’s Review:  I have many good memories about this movie as a kid.  I remember loving it.  I would root for Godzilla and Jet Jaguar, and stare in awe as Jet Jaguar and Godzilla flew over the fire circle that Megalon trapped them in.  I would cringe when Gigan would take a chunk out of Godzilla’s shoulder, and I thought that the movie’s plot was complicated and amazing... but, I was only 4 years old.  Honestly, this is probably the worst Godzilla films next to Godzilla’s Revenge and the American Godzilla, otherwise known as Roland Emmerich’s New Nightmare.  All criticisms aside, this movie is actually entertaining, and filled with cheese.  The Rex Dart chase scenes are classics, and the finale at the end is hilarious on it’s own.  The riffing on this episode– looking back, this really isn’t as good as I originally said.  This is easily the high point of Season Two, and the best episode to come before Season Three.  But to be honest, the riffing here isn’t gut-burstingly funny.  Last time I saw this episode, I rated it 5-CROWs because I had been mostly watching early Season Two episodes around that time, and the riffing in Godzilla vs. Megalon seemed brilliant in comparison.  But, seeing the work in Seasons Nine and Ten, and then looking back at this episode, it pales in comparison to those later seasons.  This would just be 3.5-CROW level riffing, were I to compare it to the show’s later work.  The riffing is pretty hit and miss throughout, and only becomes great during the final fight sequence – and even then, the riffing still pales in comparison the show’s later work, even when the MST crew was in auto pilot.  But one thing that the show did better in the early years were the host segments.  And here, they’re all (for the most part) great.  That inexplicable feeling I get from early Season Three is present here.  The segment “Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy” is great, and the dubbing of “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song” is hysterical, and a definite highlight of the episode.  So this is a very good episode, and probably the best episode of the season, but pales in comparison to the show’s later work (riff wise).

Forrest’s Rating: 

Related Links:
   (1) Mighty Jack’s MST3K Review (Episode Review)
   (2) Oh, The Humanity! (Movie Review)
   (3) Dante’s Inferno (Movie Review)