K15 - SUPERDOME

Genre:  Soapy TV-Movie Drama (1978, Color)

Synopsis:  During the week leading up to the Super Bowl in New Orleans, the two teams competing arrive for the big game and a lot of other interesting stuff, which will all be completely ignored by this movie.  As soon as one team, the Cougars, fly into the city, the GM of the team immediately heads off to some place to get some fried catfish. There, a ‘70s Farrah Fawcett virtual-look-a-like Donna Mills pretends her car is broken and that she is a reporter wanting to meet the GM, setting up Main Plot #1a. Meanwhile, Pointless Subplot #1 kicks off as an agent (I guess) is ordered by his boss to get the contract of the Cougars’ star QB, McCauley (Tom Selleck). Next, Main Plot #1b gets going when former Cougar star Receiver / now “Soul Brother Extraordinaire” P.K. Jackson arrives for the game and tells his wife that he has to prevent the Cougars from winning the game because the “guys in NY” have $10 million on the Rangers (Cougars? Rangers? What are these, expansion teams?).  Now it moves to Pointless Subplot #2, as Dave, the other Cougars’ QB, and his wife have a fight because he’s spending all of his time practicing for the big game and ignoring her entirely, so she talks about ending their marriage. (Dave, now’s your chance! Divorce her before it’s too late!!!)  Back to Main Plot #1a, as the Cougars GM is now stuffing his face with oysters while Donna Mills plays with his hand and asks him to make love to her. (…good thing he had the oysters!)  On to Main Plot #… 1a still (I think), as a Undercover League Security Guy, who was spying on star QB Tom Selleck with some woman, is shot and killed in a staircase. Now back to Pointless Subplot #2, as QB Dave can’t have lunch with his whiny wife, so she goes out and becomes a bar slut. (Divorce, Dave! Divorce!)  Returning to Main Plot #1a, first a “stewardess” (ahhh, the ‘70s!) is killed and then the Cougars Team Trainer (M. Emmett Walsh, before the Coen Bros. discovered him) is shot and killed… by Donna Mills! (So now why she slept with the food-obsessed GM makes some sense!)  Donna Mills then hides the murder weapon in the room of the Cougars’ Defensive star (Dick Butkus) and reports it to the police, who arrest him. On to Main Plot #1b, as P.K.’s wife slips some sort of knockout drug into star QB Tom Selleck’s Ginger Ale.  However, in a crossover from Pointless Subplot #1, the agent’s daughter, who is there trying to get the contract for her dad, drinks the drugged Ginger Ale, then almost dies and has to be rushed to a hospital.  Back to Main Plot #1 (1a & 1b are now combined), as Donna Mills tells P.K. that she killed the three people and set up Dick Butkus, so now he has to “take care of” QB Tom Selleck, otherwise the “guys in NY” won’t be happy.  Moving on to Pointless Subplot #2, QB Dave makes up with his whiny, slutty, and not very attractive wife (Dave, you had your chance to get rid of her and you blew it!)  Now returning to Main Plot #1, the Undercover League Security plays some surveillance tapes for the Cougars GM in which he hears Donna Mills tell P.K. about the plans to “take care of” the Cougars QB.  The GM now realizes that she doesn’t love his lardass, so he goes and confronts P.K., who tells him everything about Donna Mills’ little killing problem.  (Hey, as long as she doesn’t kill you, she’s a nice girl.)  Meanwhile, at the Superdome (finally!), Donna Mills rigs the locker room whirlpool to electrocute anyone who gets in it.  She leaves the locker room, but the GM & some Security Guys see her and chase her up into the dome scaffolding above the football field.  They catch her and she inexplicably confesses about rigging the whirlpool.  The GM runs down to the locker room (though probably stopping for a bite to eat on the way) and prevents Tom Selleck from getting in the whirlpool, just in the nick of time.  And concluding Pointless Subplot #1 (as if we cared), the agent guy tells his boss off because his daughter almost died.  Now, finally, the football game is starting and… what, the credits??? It’s over?!???

Don’s Review:  There aren’t a lot of good football movies.  Let’s see, there’s North Dallas Forty, and then there’s…....  North Dal… oh, I mentioned that one already.  Like I said, it’s a short list and this movie definitely isn’t on it.  Set in New Orleans, home of the Superdome, during the Super Bowl “hype week”, this movie has a lot in it: drama, murder, sex, food, drinking, drugs – basically everything... except football.  It’s a soapy, confusing, all-star mess that begins dull and actually gets less interesting as it meanders to its end.  The riffing is in the typical low-key KTMA style with some funny lines here and there (if you’ve never seen a KTMA episode before, the slowness of the riffs can be rather surprising that first time).  The host segments, though, are some of the best of the KTMA era, with Servo writing a letter to his non-existent uncle as a wrap-around of some flashbacks. (The opening segment, in which Crow insults the Mads, is my favorite of the bunch.)  Unfortunately, the only fan copy of this episode is missing the final host segment, so the episode abruptly ends soon after the movie itself is over.

Don’s Rating: